Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Modeling Career Woes

Should I Turn to a Life of Stripping?
Yip Yap Friends!

Don't remind me...I know...it has been too long.

I haves a big problem though and I need your advice!

Several months ago I developed a troubling case of "lump on my heiney".

Mom monitored, squeezed, monitored some more and finally took me to the doggy doctor who agreed I should have the lump removed.

Welp the day finally came and although I was a tad nervous the lump came off (along with several of my toofers that had to go.)

The problem I am having now is that the "minor" surgery has left me with a "major" scar!

A scar on any other doggy would be cool! It would be worn like a badge of courage. An over-comers emblem, a survivors stamp! But on me...it is not good. You see...I'm a MODEL. And I'm not a Crusoe the Celebrity Dachshund Super Model...I am more of an up and coming model. I still have to work hard to get gigs, model questionable things like dog diapers and Chinese dog treats! I still have to "pretend" to like cats in some of my shoots!

So...a scar...specifically on my ample and bootiful heiney could be career ending. (Pun intended!)

I have been making a list of my skills in the unfortunate event that I have to find a new line of work but so far I have only come up with:

Licking my feet
Snorting
High pitch barking

Not thinking that will be enough to fill up a resume so I am asking for your help!

If I absolutely must leave my chosen field of modeling...what should I do for a living? This girl has GOT to eat!


My Boo Boo

The Scar

Please add you suggestions on what Karli's new career should be in the comments section!

Saturday, May 2, 2015

Naked Gardening Day

The weather is FINALLY getting nice here in the mitten state....aka...Michigan. I must confess it has taken me a while to let go of my southern ways and embrace the fact that I am now a "Michigander".
Mom has taken the brunt of my temper tantrums and denial of my new surroundings. I have not really made things easy on her. I pee on the floor often just to remind her of how I long for the south. After all, I am a NAKED WIENER DOG and going outside to potty in the snow is unacceptable.

May has brought lovely weather however, so I have decided to live it up this summer and resume my pouting in the late fall.

To celebrate the gorgeous temperatures and the wonderful smells of the nearby pig farms, I decided to help mom plant flowers...IN THE NUDE!

Tee hee! That was a funny sentence because it may leave you wondering, was I in the nude...or was momma? I assure you, it was me! Momma insisted I told you that.


Today, May 2nd in World Naked Gardening Day! Being a naked wiener, I of course was obliged to participate. This day is meant to celebrate being honest with who we are as individuals and as part of the planet. Mom is not into "being honest with who she is" apparently because she flat out REFUSED to get naked when we were gardening.

I, on the other hand, LOVED IT! Usually, to protect my skin for cold or sun, I wear highly fashionable outfits but today I got to be authentic Karli. Except for a little sunscreen I got to dig in the dirt, roll in dead worms and plant my flowers blissfully unadorned.

The wind felt cool and refreshing against my skin and because I am pretty much perfect in every way I didn't feel the slightest bit embarrassed. Humans have trouble with that. They tend to think they are too fat, too skinny, too wrinkly or too flawed to be comfortable nude. Poor things.

I have been giving my mom lots of love since she adopted me but she still has insecurities. We dogs need to always be diligent to build up our humans self esteem. Wag your tail at them, lick them lots, snuggle them and always forgive them when they forget to give you a treat. After all, they are only human.

My goal for next year on World Naked Gardening Day is to get my mom to join me; then I will know she has finally accepted that to me she is perfect!

Saturday, April 25, 2015

My Sabbatical

I have been absent. Silent. I have not written a bloggy in a very long time.

Some people have asked me, "Karli, are you ever gonna write again?"

"Karli, are you sick?"

"Karli, are you and Austin having marital issues?"

Well the answers will be found here.

Yes, I am going to write again. No, I haven't been sick and no Austin and I are getting along just fine.

The truth of the matter is...I just needed a sabbatical. I needed a break. Moving to Michigan has been a very stressful and hectic time for me and my whole family.

We have experienced great loss in the last year; Roxy, Spike, Lil Bit and my sweet hoo-niece Violet.

Loss makes you sad and I have always wanted my blogs to be insightful and uplifting, funny and happy. It is hard to accomplish this when you are sad.

Supposedly it is spring now in Michigan (although the current 48 degree temperature has me questioning this fact). I believe spring brings new beginnings and I know that soon I will be happy again.

I look forward to blogging again. I look forward to hearing from all of you again.

If you have any topics you would like me to discuss, please let me know.

I know CHEESE is one important topic I will be covering soon.