Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Snack Attack - How to Get a Treat Without Really Trying

So, as many of you know I am on a bit of a diet. I’m not really overweight…just a little puffy and being that I’m bald every ounce shows.  I know I need to watch what I eat but the same old kibble morning and night gets so monotonous. From time to time a doxie just needs treats!  I have found recently however that mom has become increasingly stingy with handing them out. (I find this incredibly unfair as I often see her stuffing cookies down her throat when dad isn’t looking.) But that’s a different story.

I have developed some techniques on how to get more treats with minimal effort.  These techniques have been working pretty well for me so I thought I would share them with you in hopes that you too will be able to procure adequate amounts of yummy snacks.

1. The Bait and Switch- Get one of your skinny siblings to beg for a treat and then when your human is handing them out stroll over and look up with your most pathetic look. The guilt will get to them and soon you’ll be devouring a yummy bite.

2. The Cold Shoulder – If I withhold snuggles and licks from my mom she gets all worried that something is wrong and is practically begging for my affection.  This technique requires some willpower but it works nine times out of ten. Eventually she bribes me with cheese and I am gulping down delight and getting a belly rub. 1 stone, two birds.

3. The Whimper – Humans are defenseless against this sound. Don’t overdo it, but every 3 minutes or so let out a small, weak, and pitiful whine while staring at the treat cupboard. Then just wait for the snacks to come rolling your way.

4. The Weakest Link – In my house this is my dad.  He feels bad for being at work all day and not playing with us enough so I often go to him and beg for treats because I know it will usually work.  If you can manage to sit pretty or do some other simple trick, the weaker link will almost always give in.

5. The Steal – This technique can be difficult to master without getting into a wee bit of trouble but with practice you can learn to quickly and secretly steal almost anything off of your humans plate while another pack member acts as the distracter.  If you are an only pet, go to the door and bark like someone is outside and then when your human goes to investigate run back to the plate and lick up your favorite side.

These are my top 5 SNACK ATTACKS.  I would love to hear how you get your yummies so leave me a comment.  Let’s share the love here Weenies!

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to look at my other pages and to clicky clicky on the ads. Even if you don't buy anything you can help raise money for doxies just by looking at the ads.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The Murders of the Squeaky Friends

The scene was gruesome; the carnage disturbing. A murderer was on the loose and all stuffies and squeakers were feeling uneasy. The normally peaceful community of Dachshund Town had been savagely attacked and worse yet, the killer hadn’t been caught. He was on the lam and could strike again without warning. 

The comings and goings of the living room of this community had started off like most other days. Traipsing to and fro, anxiously waiting for the door to the “outdoors” to open so the inhabitants could search out squirrels, a potty spot, or even just a chance to bark at a passing jogger. This morning ritual was followed by a frantic rush to the kitchen for breakfast and usually followed by climbing up on the community couch to rest.

Today was different, however; and it was apparent as soon as the pack came in from their morning socialization time.

The white cotton guts were strewn around the living room; squeakers lie motionless and silent next to the mutilated bodies of Red Dog, Sammy Squirrel, Otis Octopus, and Clarice the Cow. Someone had attacked the squeaky animal friends and now only a ghastly massacre landscape remained.

Sherriff Austin was quickly called to investigate. He and deputy Spike sniffed out the crime scene, marked the evidence and collected paw prints.

Next the Canine Carnage Cleaning Crew arrived to dispose of the bodies and sanitize the area. It was difficult work but they efficiently and respectfully handled the cleanup.

Sherriff Austin interviewed several suspects and by the end of the day a suspect was named.

Unfortunately before an arrest could be made the suspect fled the area.  Be on the lookout for this dangerous criminal.  We have information that he could be heading to the Manassas, Virginia area.

His name is Watson “Mojo” Chiweenie and he definitely looks guilty to me!

Thanks for reading!  Don't forget to look at my other pages and to clicky clicky on the ads. Even if you don't buy anything you can help raise money for doxies just by looking at the ads.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Karli's K-9 Cookies

Yip Yap Friends!

Wow this has been a busy weekend and even though I didn't get to the doxie meetup or the Dogs Gone Swimming event, I still had fun.  My daddy stayed home with us on Friday, Saturday, and Son-Day. (God's son is Jesus....did you know that?)  Anyway we got to play a lot with dad and that is always so pawsome.

Dad made us some new steps to make it easier to get on and off the big bed.  He is so nice!

We have been working hard to get ready to go to the Mid Atlantic Doxie Phest in Manassas on October 1st.  I have never been to a Doxie Phest but momma said it is going to be lots of fun and I will get to meet loads of new wiener friends.  I am so excited I can hardly sleep.......I only got 15 hours yesterday!

At the Doxie Phest I get to run in my very first wiener race. I am a little nervous but momma said I don't have to win, just run and have fun.  I can do that. 

There will also be a costume contest.  I am less enthused about this event. My parents have an absolutely embarrassing costume planned for me. Ugh!

I am going to be busy much of the day at my Karli the Naked Wiener booth. I will be selling my shirts and buttons for D.R.N.A., taking pictures, signing autographs, and helping Spike sell his book. 
I also will be passing out doggie cookies. These are special peanut butter, oatmeal, and carrot cookies that I made.  Because they are so yummy, I made a video to share the recipe with you.

Try making these cookies and tell me what you think.  Spike, Austin, and Watson gobbled them right up!

Yap at ya later,

Your furfwend,


Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Meet Bobbie!


Yip Yap Friends,

Wow...I just read my last blog and yikes was I cranky!  Today I am in a much better mood.  I am so grateful to my friends who have contributed to my ChipIn goal of $100.00 for the Senior Doxies of D.R.N.A.  We are already up to $60.00 $70.00!  Woo hoo!  I have been so inspired that I asked my mom if there was any other things we could do to raise money for my dachshund friends who are in need.  Mom came through and now I have my own STORE!! You can find it on my page and it is called, "Karli's Store".  All of the proceeds from the store will go to special doxie friends in need.  This month the money will go to Bobbie.

Bobbie is a sweet older gal who was picked up by a local shelter.  Her owner came by the shelter but then decided he didn't want to pay to get her out of jail.  He called her "Baby" but apparently didn't really love her like a baby because who would leave such a sweetie in a shelter. Now her name is Bobbie and just like her new name, she is looking for a new life in a loving home.

Bobbie has never been spayed and was scheduled to have surgery yesterday but when she arrived at the  doggy doctors office, the doctor said she was very sick and couldn't have the surgery right now.

She has an upper respiratory infection and needed fluids.  Dr. McCrary said she will be okay with a little rest and some medicine.  When she gets better she will go back to the Animal Clinic of Eagle Harbor for her spay and dental treatment.

Bobby is in a loving foster home but if you would like to adopt her please contact Bobbies ID number is 09466. 

Mom and I will be at the Mid Atlantic Doxie Phest on October 1st.  I am gonna have my own booth!  Stop by a shake my paw, take a picture with me, look at some of my t-shirts and meet my fiance Austin.  I am so excited to meet you that my tail keeps wiggling!

Your friend,


Monday, September 19, 2011

Karli and My Horrible, Terrible, Very Bad Weekend

So this weekend was totally pawesome! NOT!  On Friday night my dad came home from a business trip for the Marines and I was so excited to see him. I jumped up on his lap and began licking his face and hands but dad put me down and petted the OTHER DOGS! Ta! What was that all about? I am the favorite! He said he "was tired". Please I've heard mom use that excuse before. I did wiggle my way next to him as he drifted off to sleep that night, but then again so did Spike, Austin, and Watson.

I woke up early on Saturday in a much better mood.  During the night the other dogs decided to move over to mom's side of the bed so I had dad all to myself.  As I blinked the morning goo out of my eyes I remembered this wasn't any Saturday morning, it was DOXIE MEETUP SATURDAY!  Oh Boy! I jumped off the bed and gave my morning "Yip" to alert my parents that it was time for my kibble and potty break. I bolted down the stairs beating my brothers and Austin by a mile and eagerly waited by the back door. My bladder felt like it might burst! Mom opened the door and I ran onto the deck only to
immediately run back inside. My feet wet, my back was cold, and my heiney was getting spit on by evil raindrops. Ugh. I hate rain. Dad scooped me up and carried me way out onto the damp lawn and set me down demanding that I "Go potty! Go potty! Hurry Karli...go potty!" Great, now i was cold, wet, and under extreme pressure to go potty! My bladder just didn't want to let go under such stress but finally after ambling a few steps away, I was able to pee.

After I was safely carried back into our warm, dry home mom and dad fed us all breakfast in a hurried fashion.  Mom disappeared for awhile and came back down from her room looking all spiffy.  An uneasy feeling began to rise up in my tummy.  "They're going somewhere," Austin said without even looking up from his black paw printed dog bowl.  "How do you know?" asked Spike.
"Well look at them!" he explained. "When is the last time mom put on make-up and didn't have her hair in a ponytail?"
"Oh no! He was right." I thought.  And within minutes they had locked us all in the kitchen and sneaked out the front door.

It was Saturday morning and my parents had left! This day was not starting out well at all.
I snuggled down with Austin in our soft doggy bed and dreamed about the Doxie Meet that we would be going to later in the afternoon. No matter where mom and dad had gone, I knew they would be home in time for that because they love going just as much as me.  I liked the excitement. All the sausage dogs, all the heiney's to sniff, meeting new friends. These thoughts helped me calm down and soon I drifted off to sleep.

The opening of the front door woke us all up and we rushed to the gate barking as loud as we could tails wagging fervently.

I completely forget I was barked off at them and instantly in love with them. A shift in emotions I'm told only canines possess. 

We all went to the living room and mom started screaming at the t.v.  It  was football but I was prepared and barked along with her yells.

The afternoon dragged on and I was getting anxious about the Doxie Meetup when all the sudden mom looked down at me and said, "Oh Karli I'm sorry.  We are not going to the Doxie Meetup today. It was cancelled because of the rain."


Then within a few moments of crushing my dreams of butt sniffing and wiener dog fun something else happened; my human brother came home from college for the weekend.

Soon every one's attention was on HIM!  I felt so sad that I snarled at him and then crawled under a blanket. 

That night my parents went out again! This time with my college brother. I felt so neglected.

Sunday morning it was still raining. Perfect!  At least mom and dad stayed home most of the day but they were so busy helping college boy do laundry and getting daddy packed up to go on another business trip that I barely got any cuddling.

Soon it was dinner and then, once again, my daddy was gone. My little heart just broke as he shooed me away from the door and drove away.

The last terrible injustice of the weekend happened late that night.  Mom baked a bunch of delicious cookies for college brother and she didn't even give me a single nibble. "They have chocolate in them honey, you can't have any." she lied. I know this whole chocolate thing is just a conspiracy cuz humans don't like to share.

So basically my weekend sucked. But I'm a dog, so in five minutes I won't remember any of the bad stuff.  We don't hold grudges. But they better not pull that stuff again this weekend.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

My Blog - The Inside Scoop

Yip Yap Friends!  It is a glorious Wednesday morning here in Chesapeake,Virginia. 

Today instead of writing a blog, I thought I would write about my blog.

I really appreciate all my friends that read it and I wanted to go over a few things on my blog that I think will be of interest to you.

When you land on my page, you are at Home.  This will have the newest blog posted but on the left side  of the page there is lots more to explore.

Wedding Countdown - This is a countdown clock to our big day.

Chip In-This months goal.- This new feature will help you, Karli and all of her friends to "chip in" toward a specific doxie or doxie rescue.  Until the end of October Karli is trying to raise funds for the senior doxies from Dachshund Rescue of North America.  Although senior doxies often have the lowest adoptions fees, the same cannot be said about their medical bills.  Seniors often require extensive blood work and dental.  Karli is trying to raise $100.00 for the seniors of DRNA.  It is easy to chip in and any amout is appreciated.

Doxie Rescue Sites - Karli has listed several doxie and doggy rescue sites.  If you know of one that belongs here, please send her a comment or message.

Karli’s Contest and Giveaways - This is a great way to make a few bucks or win prizes!  Karli often has contests of her own but she also keeps a list of other doxie contests she knows about.  Right now there are 2 Halloween contests going on. If you know of more, please let Karli know.

Teckle Talk- Questions and Discussions With Karli - This is a great way to ask Karli questions you may want to know about her.  She also usually has a few discussion topic questions listed.  She really wants your input.

My Slide Show - This is a slide show of some pictures of Karli and her pack.

Who is Karli the Naked Wiener? - Find out more about Karli and her past.

Contact Karli - This is where you can find all of Karli's contact information.

Karli’s Fur-Fwendly Food, Fashion and Finds - This is a page where Karli lists all of the great stuff she likes to buy!  If you know of a good business that belongs here, please let her know.

The Potty Patrol - This is my mommy's business in Chesapeake, VA.

Doxie Events in VA, WV, DC, MD, and DE - Karli tries to keep an updated list of events that are happening around Virginia.  You can also join the Doxie Happenings Group on Facebook to find more events in your area.

Blog Archive - Read Karli's past blogs.

Donate- This is a bit different than chip in because this money is for urgent doxie/doggy situations.  Daily Karli is contacted about a poor doggy that is in desperate need of a home but needs funds for transportation, medical bills, or pulling fees. 100% of this money goes to doxie/doggies.  Karli promises she doesn't buy clothes with it.  Tee hee.

Karli’s Poll - These are just fun little polls Karli posts to find out her friends thoughts on things.

Low Cost Spay and Neuter Finder - This is a handy little tool to find low cost spay and neuter clinics in your area.

Ways to Follow Me! - Did you know you can follow Karli several different ways? You can subscribe, follow by email and even get updates from Facebook!

Advertisements - These may seem annoying but did you know that just by clicking on an ad you help Karli raise money for doxies?  It's true! So click away.

Comments - Karli LOVES getting feedback from you. When you try to leave a comment the page will ask you how you want to leave your information.  Many people do not have the options listed.  Karli suggests you just use "Anonymous" and then just type your name in the message. It is sooo easy.

Well that's pretty much it.  I hope you will explore my page further today. Have a Happy Wednesday and be sure to visit me tomorrow.

Love you,
Karli the Naked Wiener

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

My Weekend In Pictures

This weekend was very eventful.  On Friday I checked my weight and was astonished at how much weight I had already lost on my new kibble.  It is Blue Buffalo Wilderness Healthy Weight Chicken Recipe. is pretty good for being diet food.

I turned in kind of late on Friday because I was waiting for my dad to get home.  He had been gone for the week doing Marine Corps stuff in Quantico.  I don't know where Quantico is but he said he didn't have very much fun and he missed me.

Saturday started out crazy but wound up very relaxing.  I hoped on the treadmill and ran a few miles. (Miles for dachshunds are like 100 feet to humans.)

After my workout I decided I was thirsty so I headed outside to the porch with mom and had a refreshing drink.

I think I may have overdone it because I woke up a few hours later with a terrible headache.

I decided to go back outside and get some sun.  I mean look how pale my tummy is!

I still wasn't feeling that well, so I decided to just go to bed.

The next morning was Sunday 9/11.

My honey Austin and I helped mom put our flag up and place tiny flags all around the yard.  Then we took pictures with our I LOVE NY shirts on.

In the afternoon Austin surprised me with a gift certificate for a relaxing massage at the spa.

I was in bliss but my day got better!

Dad played with all of us in the backyard for a long time.

And then the best thing happened!

Are you ready for my BIG NEWS????????

Austin and I finally set a date for our WEDDING!!!!

And YOU are invited!

Now isn't that just the perfect weekend!!!!!!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Football Frenzy and the UPS Man

It happened a couple of weeks ago.  Austin warned me but when I witnessed it myself I started to really question my safety and the people at DRNA for placing me in this home.  The screams were shrill. The pounding furious. Even obscenities were hurled.  Then the emotions would shift rapidly and she would be clapping loudly and jumping for joy and laughing maniacally. 

I was so confused. It was football season and my momma had completely lost her mind.  Did she realize that the funny men in those outfits on TV could not hear her?  Poor thing.  I wanted to help her with her distress but I was quite frankly too scared to get close to her.  She was throwing things and being small I didn't want to get hurled across the room.

If you look at my pictures or facebook profile, it says I am a Steelers fan but in all honesty my momma wrote that.  She wanted me to be a football fan, specifically Steelers but I'm wasn't really sure I want to catch the condition she has.

Then Austin wisely took me to the side and explained football in a way I could understand.
"Darling" he said in his calm voice. "Football is for mom like the UPS Man is for you."

Perplexed I asked him what he meant.

"Well how do you feel when the big UPS truck pulls up? he asked.

Just the thought thrilled my soul.  My tail started flapping from side to side on my naked rear-end.

"Yip!" I blurted out unexpectedly.  "Uh..Oh..I just can't control myself." my voice quivered. 
"That handsome brown on brown uniform....those packages....the way he rings my doorbell!!!!" I howled. 

"Exactly my dear, Austin explained, "now you understand football and mom."

It is Monday.

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL?!!!!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

A Dachshund's Thoughts on 9/11

Today was September 11, 2011.  Momma told me that years before I was born there was a terrorist attack in New York City and Washington, D.C. as well as some terrorists that crashed a plane in Pennsylvania that was heading towards the capitol building in D.C.  This confused me cuz she always calls me and my brothers "little terrorists". 

She explained that these were very bad men, not dachshunds, who hated America and wanted to hurt and kill lots of people.  She said that because of their actions the United States has been in two wars that daddy has had to go fight in and that our country changed forever. 

This made me sad and I whimpered a little bit.  Momma said it was okay to be sad but the most important thing was to remember all of the brave firemen, policemen, and military personnel that died as well as the thousands of innocent civilians who were just living their lives and were savagely murdered. 

I said, "Momma how can I remember them if I never met them?" and she told me even if I didn't know them I could commemorate this day, be proud of my daddy, and honor them by flying our flag.  Austin, Spike and I took pictures and decorated them with flags.  I took a walk with my momma wearing my I Love New York shirt and I gave my daddy extra licks.

I wish everyone in the world had a dachshund because how could people be that mean if they snuggled with a sweet little sausage dog every night?

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

A Message From Karli's Mom

Hello friends,

Don't be alarmed that Karli isn't writing this today.  She is okay, just a little under the weather. She and her brothers seem to have acquired a bit of a virus but it is not serious.  I thought I would just share a few of my thoughts on Karli and my other doxie babies. 

I grew up in northwest Indiana and southwest Michigan and my family always had plenty of pets.  My best friend growing up was my dog Killer. He was an Irish Setter and Lab mix and was my shadow.  Wherever I was, he was.  He would walk me to school and walk me home. He slept with me, bathed with me, ate with me and went on childhood adventures with me.  He died when I was fifteen and even though it has been so long ago I still think of him. 

I grew up (sort of), got married to a handsome Marine, and now have three grown children.  Being a military family, we have moved a LOT!  At last count it was thirteen times in the last twenty-one years.  Our lifestyle was never conducive to owning a dog although we did have cats.  Cats just seemed to need less attention as we were often traveling or living in rentals. 

When we made our last move from North Carolina to Virginia, our family was hurting.  My oldest son was struggling to find his way into adulthood, our youngest a daughter was dealing with puberty and all of the fun that brings, and our middle son was suffering from depression after having to enter into the yet another high school; his third.  My husband and I had drifted apart due to his numerous deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan and we were both dealing with a bit of post-traumatic stress.  His from going away to war, mine from trying to hold it together for over four years while he was gone.  The benefit to moving this time was the guarantee of no deployments for at least three years.

Shortly after we arrived in Chesapeake, our daughter began asking for a dog.  She wisely noted that we would be in a stable environment, the rental home we were in accepted pets, and that it would be a great time to finally get a furry friend.  My husband wanted a large dog, like a lab or golden retriever but Penny and I agreed that a small dog would be better because a smaller dog would be easier to travel with.  We convinced my husband and in no time we found Austin of Montebello.  Austin was advertised on craigslist as, "Laughter Medicine" and when I saw his picture, I knew he was right for us.  His little face was so cute and his mom couldn't keep him anymore because she was moving to Florida with her boyfriend who didn't like dogs. (Personally I would have gotten a new boyfriend.) It worked out great for us and within a week Austin moved in.  Although he was suppose to be my daughters dog, it took very little time for this lovebug to decide I was his person.

The first night he moved in my husband had made a comfy little bed for him on the floor in our bedroom.  Within three days Austin had found his way into the big bed snuggled up right between us.  My husband melted around him and his gruff exterior and stress slowly eased up when he would pet our new little doxie buddy.  My husband had a tough upbringing and has also beat himself up for not being around more for our children. In spite of everyone telling him he was away for his country and is a great dad, he has carried around a lot of guilt.  This little dog seemed to be therapeutic for him. 

Austin was also better than any pill I could have ever taken.  At this time I was watching an incredible transformation in my kids, letting them go and it left me wondering what my place was in this world.  Austin comforted me in my loneliness and confusion and although my kids teased that he was a "replacement child", they also noticed that I was happier and calmer. 

I have had problems with depression since I was a teenager.  I have had ups and downs throughout the years but this move was difficult for me.  I was turning forty, my kids were growing up, and I was feeling down.  I began to just tick off the days and thinking about death.  It seemed my life was over and although I wasn't crying on the inside I just felt empty and really didn't look forward to anything.  I began to withdrawal and stay in more and more. There were days I thought that I really just didn't want to be around anymore but I worried about who would take care of Austin if I was gone.  I know these are very screwed up thoughts, but that is what happens when you get really depressed; you do not think logically.

In late February of 2012 I saw a picture of Karli on the DRNA website.  I thought she was adorable and looked like she really needed a home.  I showed the picture to my son and he told my husband about her.  Although I really liked her, I never would have pursued adopting her without Joe.  He had been feeling better and better while I was sinking deeper and deeper into a pit of depression.  I honestly think he contacted DRNA in an effort to give me something to look forward to.  When we got Karli I was half thrilled and half petrified because I had so little energy that I wasn't sure I could care for her.  A week later she had a seizure and my mommy instincts just kicked in.  Having epilepsy myself I knew how confusing and scary these episodes could be. I knew I needed to get myself together so I could take care of her.  I made an appointment with a counselor and now take medicine to control my depression.  I feel so much better now and I really owe it to Jesus, Austin, Karli, and of course my husband Joe.  I can finally be a good mother to my kids and wife for Joe.

Animals do not judge you.  On days I wanted to just lay in the bed, they would lay with me. On days I wanted to go out for a walk, they happily tagged along.  They never looked at me with disappointment or contempt.  They happily greeted me whenever I came home and showered me with affection every chance they got.  My husband and I discovered a mutual love for these little animals and a new hobbies that include our dachshunds. 

I know that studies have proven that pets are therapeutic but in my life they have been like a daily reminder of good, hope and love.  I have a whole new network of friends (mostly Karli's) and feel blessed to know others are as "crazy" as I am about their doggies.  I truly hope through Karli's blog we are able to express to others how wonderful life is with a doxie.  We want to help doxies find homes and homes find doxies. 

If you have been feeling depressed, suicidal, or just apathetic about life, know that there are people who understand.  If you are a Christian and feel like you must be bad because you are feeling this way, know that it is an attack from Satan and the illness itself making you feel that way.  If you have pets, children, and/or a husband/wife/family, know that you can not take care of them until you get help for yourself. If you are not a Christian, please be assured that God does love you and does not want you to suffer.

Be well and kiss you dogs!

Karli's Momma