Monday, September 12, 2011

Football Frenzy and the UPS Man

It happened a couple of weeks ago.  Austin warned me but when I witnessed it myself I started to really question my safety and the people at DRNA for placing me in this home.  The screams were shrill. The pounding furious. Even obscenities were hurled.  Then the emotions would shift rapidly and she would be clapping loudly and jumping for joy and laughing maniacally. 

I was so confused. It was football season and my momma had completely lost her mind.  Did she realize that the funny men in those outfits on TV could not hear her?  Poor thing.  I wanted to help her with her distress but I was quite frankly too scared to get close to her.  She was throwing things and being small I didn't want to get hurled across the room.

If you look at my pictures or facebook profile, it says I am a Steelers fan but in all honesty my momma wrote that.  She wanted me to be a football fan, specifically Steelers but I'm wasn't really sure I want to catch the condition she has.

Then Austin wisely took me to the side and explained football in a way I could understand.
"Darling" he said in his calm voice. "Football is for mom like the UPS Man is for you."

Perplexed I asked him what he meant.

"Well how do you feel when the big UPS truck pulls up? he asked.

Just the thought thrilled my soul.  My tail started flapping from side to side on my naked rear-end.

"Yip!" I blurted out unexpectedly.  "Uh..Oh..I just can't control myself." my voice quivered. 
"That handsome brown on brown uniform....those packages....the way he rings my doorbell!!!!" I howled. 

"Exactly my dear, Austin explained, "now you understand football and mom."

It is Monday.

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL?!!!!


  1. Skipper, Cricket, Pretzel, MandySeptember 14, 2011 at 9:11 PM

    Well, we are lucky, not much football here. Staff Mom doesn't like it and Staff Dad isn't really into it unless "The BEARS" are playing, then watch out. So, standby, looking to see the Steelers at the play offs. Now, we know your mom is from Michigan…. We hope you are not into Wolverine Football…. Because, seeing how our staff mom and dad are from Ohio and Indiana, we are Buckeyes and Boilermaker fans. Anyway, fun time of year. Take care girl.

    Skipper, Cricket, Pretzel & Mandy

  2. Well my momma LOVES the Steelers, but the Bears and Colts aren't too far behind.

    In college she is a huge Boise State fan. Her favorite team.

    She does not like Notre Dame but she LOVES their old coach Lou Holtz.

    She likes Purdue and the Spartans.

    She LOVES any team that beats USC. She HATES them. She is weird.

  3. Skipper, Cricket, Pretzel, MandySeptember 14, 2011 at 9:39 PM

    Ohhh, this is bad…. Staffer Dad is a closet Dome Head because he grew up 15 miles away from Notre Dame in Elkhart, IN. Even though he went to The Citadel and is a “Bulldog” fan. Can you believe that, a bulldog? Really, not a Dachshund….Anyway, football is great.

    Skipper, Cricket, Pretzel & Mandy


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